When It's Too Hot To Knit My Mind Wanders

We are going on 77 hours in a row now without rain. It is possibly the longest rain-free stretch we have experienced here in the Mile Square City since maybe April. I honestly cannot remember when it was not raining almost every day. Since it hasn't been raining, it's gone back to being hot and humid. Today it is exactly the same weather conditions and temperature in my neighborhood as in Calcutta, India.

I don't mind the heat. In fact we don't even have an air conditioner in our house, which is only difficult for few days in the summer. It's not feeling hot myself; what bothers me is the reaction of my fellow humans to the heat. First, no one is wearing anything handknitted, not even anything cotton. Also, strangers complain to me about the heat as if I could do something about it. And people act so very peculiar. While I was coming home from work on the subway yesterday I saw a businessman in a suit take off his jacket and tie, and then roll up his pants to the tops of his meaty, hairy thighs in an effort to get cool. Dude! It's just not that hot.

I was lucky enough to need a root canal today and I kept close to home and off the subway, but I could not escape my hot neighbors. I saw no fewer than four men, of a variety of ages, walking around with their shirt bottom rolled up over their substantial midriff.

Like this:



You know, I don't think the belly functions as a swamp cooler. It was suggested that men might do this in an effort to attract women (well, suggested by someone who doesn't date a lot) but I can imagine no situation where this would be attractive. I actually spent some time in the dentist's chair wondering if, say, the two handsomest guys in the world came up to me with their shirts like this on a hot summer day and asked me where I've been all their lives, could I overlook it and run away with them? Answer: I could not. Not even for you, Stanley Tucci.

Male readers of this blog, I know you would never torment your neighbors or your loved ones by sporting this look. (Note to Andy: jury is still out on you). Do your best to prevent it in your brothers and middle aged neighbors. Write and distribute a pamphlet about it near your local supermarket. Make a Facebook group against it.

I am sure that tomorrow will dawn grey, wet and dismal so we can get covered up and back to work.